(I know this is #6, but Scott Pilgrim has 5 & 6 on the same poster. NOTHING I CAN DO. )So MONTHS after EE#5, I met a guy at a party and we seemed to click and yada yada yada we started seeing each other. It was pretty low stakes for me. He was applying to med schools and I was already thinking about moving. And this was fine. He honestly wasn't anyone I saw any long-term potential in, but I figured that as long as we were on the same page, we could have some fun.
This was also my attempt at applying all of the changes I wanted in my relationship style after having my heart broken. I was to be more confident, less emotionally-attached at the beginning, and know and convey what I wanted from the relationship.
And all in all, everything went really well. It was a very fun summer. And he said he was on the same page about just enjoying ourselves before we went our separate ways.
Except he wasn't playing by the same rules as me. It was very clear that he was falling in LOVE. Talk about how maybe he would be accepted to a med school in the city I was moving to started sneaking into the conversation. He was getting a little more clingy...
SHUT IT DOWN.
As the song goes, sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind. Despite his pleading to keep dating until I moved, I played the "I've found myself already emotionally detaching from you and this city" card (that's a card?) and after a tearful night on his part and feeling like an ass on my part, it was over.
Actually, I'm pretty pleased with how I handled this relationship and there's really not a lot of baggage. If anything, it reiterates a lesson learned from EE#2: It's not my job to play detective. I should be able to take what you say at face value. If you're lying about how you feel, that's on you, not me.
So while there's not really any baggage, there also weren't really any stakes.
And I've started to realize this morning that there are stakes right now. For the first time since EE#5, I could have my heartbroken again. Despite trying to take it slow, feelings are clearing developing, and I am going to have to trust this (albeit seemingly wonderful) man to not hurt me.
That's really scary.
