I Done a Bad Thing, George, by Rock

Holy. Fuck.

Remember in SATC when Carrie was dating Aiden but ended up in bed with Big and a cigarette and you hated her and had to walk around and cool off because you were so angry with her?

Yeah get ready.

So tonight I went to go see a play with EE#3's boyfriend. Now you may recall that the three of us had a good time more than a few weeks ago. We had been trying to figure out a time to hang out again, I needed to see a show tonight, I asked them to come and only the boyfriend could make it.

We pregamed a little before the show and I brought up how I thought they were such a good couple. That brought up how they weren't a great couple and even though they were about to move in together they were having all these problems, a lot of them sex related.

This got me (probably unfairly) talking about my problems with EE#3. A lot of this guy's problems with him were similar. So we commiserated. We had a plan to get EE#3 to hang out with us after to have a repeat performance and that kind of gave us the safety to flirt a little, thinking that all would be well with the three of us very shortly.

The show ended and we headed back to my place to drink some more, eat some pizza, and we thought to wait for him. Then we got a text that not only was he not coming, he felt a little tricked into coming, and was a little uncomfortable with us hanging out. I excused this guy to go. He wanted to continue to hang out. Our legs continued to touch as we watched "Easy A" of all things. Irony.

The movie ended and we got a little closer and I finally said, "I don't want you to do anything that you will regret tomorrow. We should stop." And he said, "I told you that we haven't had sex in months. This isn't my first time fooling around on the side." I replied, "Well you can never ever tell him."

And with that, I became "the other woman." We fooled around. I felt guilty. I more felt like I should feel guilty than actually feeling guilty. I hate that I did that to EE#3. I realize if it wasn't me, it would be someone else. That doesn't make it okay.

I don't know. He just left. I'm still processing. I'm still tipsy. I never would have expected this.

There used to be this machine at the state fair when I was growing up that would analyze your signature and tell you your personality. I remember being told around sixth grade that I was the kind of person that would cheat if I knew 100% that I could get away with it. I remember knowing even back then that it was probably true.

I feel awful. I feel okay if I don't think about EE#3, but if I think about him I feel awful.

I think what bothers me the most is that I used to think they had this great thing. I'm terrified that I'll "find love" with someone and they will do this to me and I will have no idea. Granted I would never let my relationship regress to the problems they are having but still. No excuse. It's scary to think I could be left playing the fool.

I feel so badly that I didn't want to share this, didn't want to write about it. I'm forcing myself to do it while I'm not sober so I can't pretend it didn't happen. So I have to own up to it on some degree.

SOBER UPDATE: What's done is done. I won't let it happen again. Moving on.

Update, by Rock

So we just spoke on the phone. He passes the voice test (no speech impediments, not too low, not too high, not too nasal or denasal: can you tell I studied theatre and voice?) and it was enjoyable first-date level small talk for about twenty minutes.

I wish I didn't call that other guy Scrubs because I really like that as a nickname. We will call this one "Noah Wyle" instead.

Yellow Haired Female Likes Waffles and News, by Doris

So I'm on hookup hiatus for a week or two. I'm moving apartments: within my neighborhood, but still, it's super stressful. And of course there have been some complications and drama with the move. Ugh. I just want to wake up in my new place with all my stuff unpacked: is that too much to ask? I think not!

Haven't heard from The Hair since our last date, making me think he got the hint. I wish him well. He's a nice guy and I'm sure he won't have a problem finding someone who's into him.

With Jim Berger's encouragement, I have started to submit for freelance opportunities. I think about him sometimes when I'm not at work. And please don't yell at me in the comments--I know nothing's going to happen. I'm just at a point where I'm tired of the whole messaging/texting/awkward first dates dance. I really related to last week's Parks and Recreation, where Leslie attempts online dating. Leslie says something like she'd rather have something that wasn't perfect, but that she knew and liked.

Again, I know nothing's going to happen, I know I like it because it's safe and I need to keep putting myself out there. I know all of this.

But I'll own it: sometimes I wish he hadn't dated my friend.

It's Like the Plot of 42nd Street Is Happening in My Mind, by Rock

So this new med student that I've been texting with is looking pretty promising. Everything that we've talked about seems spot-on and he's only made one spelling mistake (here instead of hear). We had a great conversation yesterday (well as great as one can be via text) about how so many guys are "extremes" (I only have straight friends. I only have gay friends. I only hang out at straight bars. I only hang out at gay bars. I only want to go out. I only want to stay in.) and it's almost harder to be middle of the road. He flat out said he was short and asked if I realized that and would have a problem with it. I told him I would only have a problem if he had issues with it. If he had the confidence to measure up, then no worries (I think that's the case).

I really wish we could just meet and get it over with. These expectations just keep building, and I know how I get when a guy seems pretty good on paper and I want to be in a relationship (cough, cough, 2.0, cough, cough). Yet as much as I don't want to be that naive, young ingénue that has his mind made up before meeting the guy, I also don't want to be that bitter, old queen that's trying to figure out everything that is wrong with the guy. I am trying extremely hard (and succeeding, I believe) at balancing the "cautiously" and "optimistic." It is what it is, I'll meet him when I meet him, and until then life goes on. I'm really not even thinking about this as much as this post makes it seem like I am. Just bragging I guess about how I'm handling it.

I suggested that he call me today on a study break so we can chat. I really just want to hear the sound of his voice, but it'll also be a little closer to actually meeting and we can both get a better read on things.

Remember that guy that Doris and I met out like a month ago? Me neither really. But he was out again last night and we might actually get coffee for real. I don't think we're compatible enough, but I wouldn't mind seeing him sober to figure it out.

Bullet Points, by Rock

This has been a pretty quiet week on my end. Super busy. I felt like I needed to update though when I had to check to see what my last update was about.

Developments of note:

*Went on a date with a guy off of Scruff. We got along super well... in the most platonic way ever. When he texted the next day to say that he had a good time, I told him I did as well though it felt very platonic. He agreed and we've promised to be friends. We will see if that happens.

*Started emailing and now texting with another med student on OkCupid. He is at the end of the semester so we won't have a first date for a few weeks, but he seems really promising. I just wish we didn't start talking now, because I don't want to run out of steam in the next two weeks. I guess that's really not too far away and I should just be patient. As for now, we've been texting just the right amount. I get excited when I get one. I'm not overloaded with them. As always though, nothing more than cautious optimism until I actually meet him. Also, for as great as he seems, he is short. Call me an ass. Half a foot is a big difference.

*I deleted Scruff and Grindr from my phone. They're time wasters. I haven't had anything remotely close to good luck meeting people on them. I'm only going to get myself in trouble on them. Who knows if they'll be back on my phone eventually, but they are gone for now.

*This guy and I both rated each other highly on quickmatch. He wrote right away to suggest a drink. I logged on to read the message but didn't have time to respond so I was saving it for tonight. I just got ANOTHER message saying that he hoped he didn't come off crazy in the first message and hopes we can hang out sometime. Dude. You didn't seem crazy until you sent the second one. Just lost your chance. I am tempted to write and tell him that.

*I have just been craving alone time and friend time lately. I am pretty first-dated out. I wish I could skip that first month of dating and just be at that comfortable stage. Have someone to cuddle with. Oh well. Can you tell I'm on my second glass of wine?

And that's pretty much it.

Catholic Guilt, by Doris

I was baptized Catholic and went to parochial school from kindergarten to twelfth grade. Now I only go to Mass when I'm with my family because it makes them happy.

Yet Catholic guilt is a bitch to let go. And believe me, I've tried.

Last night I met up with The Hair at this really cool bar in his neighborhood that I've always wanted to try. The bar did not disappoint. Neither did the conversation, which was really fun and not at all one-sided and ranged from conservative family values to why e-readers are so awesome.

I wish, wish, wish I could feel something for this guy. I don't. Hence the Catholic guilt.

Really, I shouldn't have gone on this date at all. I know with the second date it's okay to still be figuring things out, but I'd pretty much already decided there would be no third date. I felt mean. At the same time, I didn't want to act distant and be rude.

He had a second drink, but I did not because a) the drinks were expensive, and b) I have a very low tolerance for alcohol and I needed to get up for work the next morning. He asked if I wanted to take a walk in the park, and I politely said no because, again, I had to work the next morning and if public transportation was slow it could take me up to an hour to get home. (Both of these were true. I just didn't mention that I've happily stayed out late on weeknights before.)

Oh, and he paid and didn't make a big deal out of it, which made me feel worse.

Outside the bar, I think he wanted to go for a kiss, but I gave him a hug instead. Again, I feel mean. But I think it would be meaner to lead him on.

Rock says this is part of the game, and I get that. This is just the first guy I've gone out with where I genuinely wish I could feel something.

We We We So Not Excited, by Doris

I'll keep this short, but I'm supposed to see The Hair tonight (we rescheduled from Friday). We are going to a bar in his neighborhood I've always wanted to go to, which is a plus.

And I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing.

He is perfectly nice, but a) I get the feeling he's way more excited about this than I am, and b) he called me "pretty girl" in a text.

Now, I know we've only been on one date and many girls like that kind of thing and he doesn't know me well enough to know this, but:

I don't really go for those kind of endearments. It just squicks me out even if the guy is not squicky.

I'm going to try to keep an open mind, but honestly it will probably be one drink and go.

Will report back.

(P.S. Did anyone see Parks and Recreation? Did anyone else have a REALLY hard time believing Leslie was the only one opposed to those two getting married? Though I did love her line about falling for the Civil War re-enactor.)

Eh, by Rock

So this guy that I had been talking to on Grindr for some time came over to watch a movie last night.

I really don't like when people explain the joke in their laughter. Like "Oh he lent her his pink shirt earlier. Hahaha." Or THE WORST: "No one would ever say that. Hahaha." Yes. That's why it's funny.

But anyways we started fooling around a little and it could have gone one of two ways: He was cute enough, and I could have totally hit that for the easy win, but I wasn't really feeling it and didn't really want to see him again.

While he was grinding on me I had this flashback to the first time 2.0 and I fooled around and I got a bit nostalgic. Then I had this GIANT COME-TO-JESUS MOMENT OF CLARITY. The ONLY thing special about 2.0 is how I felt about him. He was pretty average with his own set of flaws (and yes, strengths. He wasn't awful). But I was crazy about him. THAT'S what made him special.

And since I wasn't crazy about this one I told him "we should be good" and that "I had to be up early in the morning." He left before clothes came off.

I'm learning.

The Safety Dance, by Doris

So The Hair and I are scheduled to go out tomorrow night, have a glass of wine and maybe see a movie. Between working long hours (with more to come this weekend!) and preparing to move apartments, I am suspecting a glass or two of wine may be all I can handle. We'll see. I'd be very surprised if a third date comes of this--he's really nice, but I just can't get all that excited--but I am trying to keep an open mind.

I'm also messaging with a guy I'll call Wings because he and I both enjoy eating wings. The messages are very looong so I'm hoping we'll meet up soon.

And in the meantime...

Remember my friend's ex, who's also my friend, for whom I've had feelings in the past?

Let's call him Jim Berger. Jim as in Jim and Pam from The Office, because he works with me (though not in the same department). Berger as in Jack Berger from Sex and the City, because he is a writer (though to my knowledge, he has not dumped anyone via Post-It).

Can you tell Rock and I like TV?

So he's a quiet guy, laid-back, sweet. I've known him for several years but have gotten to know him better in the past year when we worked on a couple of projects together and he started dating my friend (also a coworker). We're both writers, like the theatre and movies, have stuff in common.

He's always been very complimentary of my writing--not this blog, which he doesn't know exists, but some of my other stuff on the Web. And he's an excellent writer and has a nice little freelance career going, so I value those compliments. He's said my writing style makes him want to improve his own, which, WOW. He's also trying to help me score some freelance gigs of my own, which is really nice considering how competitive the market can be.

And lately...there's been this energy between us.

Nothing too drastic. Just more chatting, some Facebook messaging, emails back and forth. Shy smiles. That sort of thing. Just a wee bit more than friendly.

I'm not delusional. I don't think this is going to lead to anything. I think we are both stressed out about various life-y things right now, and feel comfortable with each other.

And sometimes that's enough.

Energy manifests in different ways. I mean, Rock and I had energy from day one. Not a romantic energy, but it led to a friendship going on eleven years. Having energy with someone doesn't mean you're going to sleep with them. Or that you even want to. (Okay, I wouldn't be opposed in this case. But anyway...)

I'm not going to stop dating people or pine away for this dude. But I'm going to enjoy what we've got.

'Cause I don't know what Jim Berger's opinion is, but I think this is damn nice.

Twofer, by Rock

Went on this first date last night with this guy that reminded me of Twofer from 30 Rock because he was a skinny black dude with super short hair that went to Harvard.

He was cute, but his breath smelled. We also went to a place that specializes in ridiculously awesome and intricate cocktails and he ordered a beer he knew he liked.

He also just kept talking at me, whether it be about his job or short stories that were in Spanish so I couldn't read them if I wanted to or foreign films I hadn't seen.

The times we were actually having a conversation were great, but I was getting so annoyed every time he was just talking at me.

It was clear he was into it, kept touching my arm and getting closer to me. I felt like he was trying to connect with me, but I was so impatient to just get home and be in bed.

I definitely need a little break from dates. They're just getting more and more frustrating when they don't work out. If someone gets in touch with me, that's great. I'll consider it. But I'm not actively seeking for a while.

Winning, by Rock

Went to a bar after work with some straight guy friends to watch the game. It was the same bar that Scrubs and I grabbed a drink at, so I invited him to come join us. He did. I had a boy to make out with after the game and a place to stay.

He's still pretty unavailable, busy with school and not looking for anything serious. Still it was good times and if we hung out from time to time I would be okay with that.

Now back to bed. It is early.

I Have No Idea What Happened Last Night, by Rock

And because I have no idea what happened last night, I'm going to go over all of the details to try to figure it out.

First of all, on Sunday I was with the Couple and we were doing these personality analysis things. Mine talked a lot about how prevalent the idea of sacrifice was in my life, whether I gave up things because of a sense of duty or to please my parents and how it probably didn't feel like sacrifice to me, it just felt like doing the right thing. It talked about how I demand sacrifice from important people in my life. The word "sacrifice" made me really uncomfortable and I was not okay with this analysis at all, but I have been mulling it over and wondering if there is some truth to it.

(For the record, the rest of the night with The Couple was really fun. I think I want to start transitioning into just a friendship, but that is neither here nor there, I want to talk about last night. Not Sunday.)

Last night I worked but then was supposed to head over to Charlie's to watch a movie and most likely have a sleepover. A sleepover had been close to happening last time, but because of things like contact solution and early morning classes on his part, we decided to wait until next time.

You might remember that Charlie lives in the same building, on the same floor as 2.0. However, I really thought I was over this and it wouldn't be a big deal, even if I did run into him.

But I was really looking forward to hanging out with Charlie. We had been cute texting all week, he has a lot going for him, it was going to be fun. All of work, I was really excited to head over and relax and probably get laid.

Then I got a text during work asking if I had seen "I Love You, Phillip Morris" because it was "finally out" and supposed to be "incredible." I said I hadn't and that was definitely an option. But for some reason, and I don't know why, this annoyed me a bit. Call me petty. I would definitely see that movie out of curiosity, but I would probably do most things out of curiosity. I slept with a girl a little over a year ago just to "see what it was like." But that's another story.

I jumped in a cab and headed to his place after work, and I am not going to lie: it was a little weird giving 2.0's address. I had taken that cab ride so many times in December and January. I exited the cab at the grocery store with the Redbox where 2.0 and I had done so many frozen pizza and beer runs (to be fair, this was also my grocery store for most of college, so let's not get overly nostalgic for 2.0). And to be honest, at this point, this was all just a little weird. I wasn't freaking out about it. Yeah I would prefer to not run into 2.0, but it was actually all just kind of amusing.

Charlie got down there and we started looking at movies and immediately he was just annoying to me. I think he was just really excited to be hanging out with me, and that is very sweet, but it manifested itself into this hyper energy that was just not appealing. Something about his movie tastes were just a little off-putting. It's hard to describe, I'm usually not that snob, but I just recall thinking "What was I thinking?" This guy is not for me.

We decided on The Switch. We went back up to his place, and I felt a little like I was trespassing but again it was just weird more than anything. I remember being ready for anything when I got off the elevator on that floor, but that moment quickly passed, we turned right instead of left, and all was well.

Looking back at it, it was almost rude how when we got into his room, I just started turning on his TV and putting the movie in, but the small talk was taking a while, and I knew he had to get up so early. I didn't make a big deal of it, I was just getting ready for our night. But I probably should have just let him do it. I could have even suggested that he do it, but I just did it. Which strikes me as weird now. At this point, his energy was still just really kind of bugging me.

We watched the movie lying in his bed just kind of touching. About halfway through he put his head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around him.

For the record, the movie is great. It was definitely a bit more serious than we thought it was going to be, but I really enjoyed it a lot. Add it to your queue.

The whole movie though I was dreading about after. I knew that no hard feelings, but I really didn't want to see him again after this. The energy just wasn't there like I thought it was. I was mad at myself for thinking it was. I was confused as to why it wasn't there anymore, but I knew it would be awful to fool around and spend the night and then never want to see him again. I knew it was easier short-term, but not overall.

Earlier in the day before work I was reading this short story by Lorrie Moore called "What Is Seized. It is narrated by this woman recalling growing up with a "cold man" for a father and the toll it took on her mother. It was a beautiful, haunting story, all the more so because I had this realization that I am attracted to "cold men." Men that could lure you in with charm, but then left you gasping for some emotional connection. 2.0 strikes me as one, for example, and if you worked through my evil exes you could probably find a few more.

So now I had this guy who was so excited to have me over and in his bed that he was practically bouncing off of the walls and that energy, that excitement over me was so off-putting that I considered myself completely over this guy. What exactly is wrong with me?

After the movie he started kissing me and every kiss was awful for me. I felt trapped and claustrophobic. I kept thinking about this "sacrifice" I was going to have to make of fooling around with this guy I wasn't into. He could tell that something was a bit up.

"Are you tired?" he asked me.

"A little. Are you?" I replied.

"No. Should I be?"

We continued kissing as it because more and more apparent to me that I could not spend the night. Absolutely not. My head rushed for excuses and reasons that wouldn't crush this sweet boy that did nothing wrong.

Finally I had a moment of genius.

"I'm sorry," I began, "It's just so weird for me knowing that he's just a few doors down. I made it sounds like I was over him more than I was, but he really broke my heart."

He was empathetic. "I knew something was wrong. I'm just glad it's not me. I thought I did something wrong."

We did the little dance, both commenting on how similar the apartments looked. Me apologizing and saying how stupid I felt.

He asked if I wanted to just go to bed. I said I thought it was better if I left.

I felt like the biggest dick in the world. He was crushed. But at least his feelings were spared a little bit. I gave him an awkward hug good-bye at the door.

Walking to the train station, I wondered if there was any truth to my excuse. It certainly felt a bit true, but I could have just really bought into it in order to sell it to Charlie. My current guess is that it was a little more uncomfortable for me to be there than I was allowing myself to admit, but that being said, it wouldn't have worked out with Charlie anyway, and I was lucky to have such a good excuse right there. I looked like a fool, but a sacrifice I am willing to make in order to spare his feelings a bit.

I am a little surprised that he hasn't texted me anything about last night. I think he knows that it is completely over and completely awkward. Not sure if I owe him an "Again I'm really sorry" text or not.

But anyway, that was my night. I'm still a little confused by it. If someone can figure it out better than I have, by all means, please don't be shy.

Maybe Let's Stop Whining, by Doris

Sorry for the Katherine Heigl-esque post yesterday, everyone.

Anyway, I just messaged The Hair and said yes to a second date. I've also been messaging back and forth with a really nice guy who, like me, loves to eat wings.

Also, for the first time ever, I messaged ALL THREE of my Quiver matches (where you're matched up by the OKCupid-bot or whatever). Including the one who's all "I'm way too good for this self-masturbatory online crap." And yes, I refrained from asking, "then why are you on OKCupid?"

Life ain't so bad.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?, by Doris

So remember The Hair, the guy I very briefly talked about before I immediately jumped into stressing about my attraction to my friend's ex-boyfriend?

Me neither.

The reason I didn't talk about the date that much is because, really, there wasn't much to talk about. We met up for coffee, had a nice conversation, hugged good-bye. He said he'd like to hang out again, I said sure. It wasn't until four or five days later I realized I hadn't heard from the guy.

Four or five days.

At that point I barely remembered I had a date with him. So it was probably better he didn't follow up, right?

That's what I thought, and then I heard from him again. Apparently he got pretty sick right after our date (don't know whether I believe that, don't really care. At least he acknowledged he hadn't contacted me). He apologized, wants to get together again.

What do I do, you guys?

Yes, there's one other guy I'm messaging with who I think has potential, but other than that the dudes aren't exactly banging down my door a la Rock. I've done some messaging here and there, but haven't heard back from most of the guys. I'm going to try to put in some more time on OKCupid this weekend.

In other words, I don't want to be TOO picky. And it's true, this guy was a lot easier to talk to than Straight Anthony Rapp, so I don't think a second date would be nearly as awkward. It's just...meh. I'm not excited, and aren't you supposed to be a little excited this early in the game? Then again, I don't want to miss out on anything.

Thoughts?

I Really Miss Sleeping, by Rock

Yesterday I was doing some quick matches on OKCupid when I rated this hot guy with the most amazing nose (don't laugh) a 5. I don't do that often. I quickly got a message that he rated me highly as well, followed by a message asking me if I would want to grab a drink sometime. I'm not used to being out right away, I know Doris kind of hates it, but I didn't mind the directness because he was so cute. I told him my schedule was crazy, but if he was patient, I totally would like to grab a drink soon. I gave him my number and soon got a text apologizing for being forward, but would I like to grab a drink that night seeing as he was leaving for out of town the next day. Sure, I said.

We met after work at a relaxed wine bar. We had a pretty good time. I was pretty tired and felt particularly inarticulate. I walked him home and was invited upstairs where we watched a tiny bit of tv. It was clear he didn't want a kiss good night, but did want me to text him when I got home. Which I did, saying that I was intrigued and wouldn't mind a round two. I didn't get a response. Which I didn't lose sleep about.

The Couple also texted me during the day yesterday to make plans for this weekend. I also suggested that they come into my work for drinks and dessert. They did. It was kind of odd to serve them and flirt with both of them, but it was super nice of them to visit. We have plans for Sunday. Not sure exactly what is going on here.

Tonight was round two with Charlie. I can't put my finger on this one. Looks wise, he is a cute little guy but so not my type. Still I can't help but think he's adorable when I'm around him. He's funny, articulate, clever, likes a lot of the same things as me. We have a good time.

Tonight we went to get pizza and ice cream before coming back to my place to watch Survivor (like I said, we're both obsessed). We were sitting very close on the couch and soon after the show ended we were kissing and things got very heated. I picked him up carried him to my bed and we started taking each other's clothes off.

Normally here I would want to have a talk about how far things were going to go or make some excuse about how I usually don't do this (lie) or blah. This time I simply said, "I trust that you'll let me know if I go too far" to which he replied, "Same goes for you."

And he did stop me before it went all the way, but it was fun to toss him around a while and be aggressive. There was definitely a sexual connection there.

He has class in the morning and couldn't stay the night this time, but there are plans for a sleepover next time.

He tried to do the whole "I usually don't go that far" act and I just said "There was a connection, we acted on it, we had a good time. It's all good on my end."

So Charlie, The Couple, the guy from the bar the other night that I'm supposed to grab coffee with, and then there's another guy I've been messaging on OKCupid that I am intrigued by and want to meet. I am feeling a little overwhelmed.

A really awesome date, by Rock

So on Sunday night I had a bit of an unconventional date planned. It went really well though. Surprisingly well.

I went over to their place after work, which was conveniently about a block and a half away. We had drinks and talked for a bit before watching Tangled. The energy was there, and by the end of the movie we were cuddling. Soon after clothes came off and we headed to the bedroom for an incredible time. I was told, "Of course you'll stay and cuddle, right?" I was offered an extra toothbrush and to see if their extra phone charger would fit my phone (it did! win!). Just a really fantastic night all around where I really felt a connection. Before I left in the morning, plans were made to hang out again very soon.

Well if you haven't caught on that I'm using a plural pronoun yet... the date was with a couple.

I met one of them on grindr earlier in the week, and after hitting it off he admitted that he had a relationship of two years and they were looking to open it up. They wanted someone they could be friends with, they didn't just want an anonymous person to come in and drop trou. Everything they said while talking to both of them convinced me that they were going about it in the absolute best possible way. We made plans for Sunday night and you just heard the rest.

They were such a great couple, it was great to be a part of it for a while. Their affection for each other was contagious. Opening up a relationship isn't something I think I could do personally, but they took such great care of each other during the "exploration" that I'm glad it works for them, because honestly it was a really fun, hot night. I'm looking forward to having two new friends, and if we happen to fool around again, that's okay too. But really that's just icing.

Other updates:

Still haven't heard back from Faux Spaniard. I almost feel like writing again expressing my sadness that he doesn't want to be friends. Not to try and change his mind, but to get across that I really did want that.

Haven't heard from Scrubs since our mutual night out.

Charlie and I continue to text about once a day and are hanging out tomorrow.

Was out with Doris last night at a gay bar and had a great time. Gay men seem to find her fabulous. A cute guy came over and hit on me last night, which is rare. He was cute enough and was doing everything right, talking to Doris and me instead of just me, etc etc, and did get my phone number, but then this guy I know from college came over who was kind of being a dramatic downer and this new guy kind of got in a diva-off with him, which wasn't the most attractive thing. If he asks I'll still get coffee with him though, because in all honestly the guy from college was being kind of annoying.

To Branch Out or Not to Branch Out, by Doris

Okay, I lied. Rock and I didn't get married. April Fool!

What I wasn't foolin' about, though, was my frustration with OKCupid. Four months on it and I keep getting the same dudes, over and over. It's a little discouraging. Are my tastes really that limited?

So I'm thinking (just thinking) of branching out. I don't want to pay through the nose, and I already know some of the sites are not right for me. Match.com, definitely not. eHarmony, hell to the no. A friend is now on chemistry.com and hasn't had a great experience. As I am not a gay man, Connexion is out.

Nerve.com looks kinda promising, as do a couple of other sites.

So daters and datees, any advice? Have you had good/bad experiences with any of the above or any I may have missed? Leave a comment!

Gays Like Brunch, by Rock

First of all, a very happy belated Opening Day to all of our readers! A bigger deal than Christmas and my birthday combined, I hope that your teams (both real and fantasy) are doing as well as mine.

First of all, I'm not sure how long Scrubs is going to be in the picture, if at all. We had been texting a bit what with baseball starting (my team started off wonderfully, his did not) and realized we were both going to be out on Friday.

But then as a text he did something that drives me crazy. He called me "bud." Bud is what I call someone if I'm trying to assert that I just see them as a friend even though they might have a crush. Bud is what I call my buds. Bud is not a cute nickname for boys I like. It confuses me when guys use it as such. So I made a joke out of it: "Bud? Have I crossed into the friend zone already?" His response: "Look BUDDY. If you're going to be like that than YES. I'll be by you guys soon. Keep in touch." I don't think he was actually annoyed, I think he was just playing along. I said I was just checking because I thought he was adorable. He said he was going to come buy us shots.

My friend had to get up early and we actually didn't get to meet up. I haven't heard from him since, and I think I will wait to hear from him before moving forward with him. My read is that he is busy in med school, and wants something super super casual. Something in theory I want, but in practice don't do well at. I want to be involved on some level, even if I don't get to see you very often.

And then I went out with the dental student on Saturday for brunch. We're going to call him Charlie, because we talked Survivor for a lot of the date and he reminds me of Charlie from a few seasons back a little bit.

The whole date was a bit of a blur because of my sinus medication. Seriously this spring is trying to kill me.

Charlie is not exactly my type. A little shorter than me and super super skinny. No muscles. I could tell that he shaved his chest and I'm almost positive he was wearing some make-up.

That being said, he was still a guy. Not super fem. We have a lot in common, whether the afore-mentioned Survivor love or how seriously we took high school. The conversation was flowing, and by the end of the meal we had put in our calendars that we would watch Survivor together Wednesday night when I got off of work.

HERE'S THE THING. He had mentioned in our OKCupid messages and I was immediately suspicious. He not only lives in the same building but on the same floor as 2.0. He is friendly with 2.0, knows him by name, and says hi to him in the hallways and such. I played it off like 2.0 and I had an amicable friendly mutual ending (which is 90% true) and that it will be more funny than awkward if we run into him. But let me just say I am not looking forward to this. I am not going to lie. 2.0 is more attractive conventionally than Charlie and as bad of a person as I am, it will be a little awkward. But let's wait for that to actually happen and progress to the point where I am hanging out there before I worry about it. And really, I am 95% over 2.0 at this point. I just still would prefer if he didn't exist in my universe at all.

But the date went well, Wednesday is planned, we hugged goodbye on the busy daytime downtown street and we'll see.

Oh Happy Day, by Doris

After four months on OKCupid, I have to say, I'm discouraged by what I see.

I mean, really. Married dudes who pull disappearing acts! Rent-star look-alikes with funny voices and awkward demeanors! Hipsters upon hipsters upon hipsters, some of whom wear purple pants!

That's not to say my offline life's any better. I mean, I've got ex run-ins in the supermarket parking lot, good on paper platonic pals, and crushes on friends' former lovers!

Between walled-up preppies, dudes who text mid-date, and faux Spaniards, Rock's fed up too.

So we made it official.

Last night, Rock and Doris flew to Vegas and got married.

To each other.

We will enjoy a long sexless life of brunches, showtunes, white wine and well-decorated apartments.

Cue the Mendelsohn!