I hate how big these are, but I'm too lazy to fix them and I can't stop now that I've started. So remember how I lived somewhere else for 3 years? I met EE#4 right before I decided I was going to move there. We had an instant connection and really hit it off. We were looking for the same things in life and approached life pretty similarly. He called me "Daddy material." As in he would raise kids with me, not he wanted to dress me in leather.
Soon, the pressure of expiration dating became too much. He broke it off about a month before he went back to school and two months before I moved.
We would reconnect when I came back to town, and he was always my go-to "there's someone out there I could spend my life with" crush when I needed one.
In fact, one of the perks to moving back here (I thought) was that we could reconnect and see if we were right about what we thought was between us.
Then we spent a weekend together in San Francisco. We both realized how much we've changed, we actually bickered quite a bit, he admitted to being mean to me so I wouldn't try to sleep with him because he wasn't at a place where he could do that (here's a thought: just tell me it's not going to happen and trust that it won't), and it was all around a ridiculous weekend. I wish I could explain it further, but frankly it just feels like gossip. What it comes down to is I had some expectations I maybe shouldn't have had, and he was an ass about it. Half of the weekend was really fun and I love San Fran. Half of the weekend blew. We haven't talked since.
I don't know if I have any baggage, but it does illustrate a few lessons that I like to remember.
1- I don't handle subtext well. Sometimes we're just going to have to talk about feelings. If you don't like this, we're probably not going to work out. I know this lesson doesn't seem to fit in here, but it does.
2- Sometimes I'm wrong.
