I Don't Know What's Going On, by Rock

I took a break from all the texting and such with Noah Wyle and just talked to him about once a day if that for a few days. I honestly was about to call him and end it with the old standard speech (I think "we" are good, not great. And I think we both deserve great.) when he was texting about plans for our next date and I decided to go along with it. What's one more night? My plan was that if it went poorly, I would have the talk in person before just heading back to my place alone (I was rooting for us: I wanted to give us one more chance...).

But then he surprised me. He stopped being so reserved. He's still too courteous and polite to a fault, but he at least opened up and was a little candid and not so shy. I found myself enjoying myself.

He had bought tickets to a comedy show that turned out to be really funny, and after he brought up sleeping arrangements. I asked if he minded my place again, and I brought him home with the intention to have a discussion.

Which we started after we got off the bus. I said that I knew it was obvious and sounded silly to articulate, but it would make me feel better if I could just say it out loud. I said that while I was enjoying getting to know him, I needed to own the fact that I was still getting to know him. It was my perception that his mind was a little more made up than mine, and that was okay, but I needed to own that we were still new and figuring things out. He assured me that he had no plans for us to move in together anytime soon. He was still getting to know me as well. He asked if there was anything that sparked this and I said the sexual exclusivity made me a little nervous.

And then he showed some balls.

He owned that we started having sex a little quickly for him, but that was his rule: he didn't like to think about essentially having sex with a bunch of random people he didn't know through the transitive power or whatever. He reminded me that if I wasn't okay with this rule, then we could stop having sex for a while and we could still hang out and wait for when this rule made more sense. I said that it was valid. I gave him credit for even bringing it up with me and having that standard. I said it wasn't really even an issue, I probably wouldn't be sleeping with anyone else anyway but the freedom was important now to make the exclusivity mean more later. And we left it (again) that if it happened it happened, and parties would be informed.

And I thanked him for discussing it with me, and said I felt better. We went home and had good sex for the first time and spent the night together.

The smartest relationship advice I have ever gotten was "Just decide if you want to see him one more time. That's the only decision you have to make right now."After our conversation, I'm okay seeing him again.

Don't get me wrong: I don't think this is the love of my life. But for now it's nice and different and as long as I'm having a good time, why the hell not?