The other day, I admitted to my friend that I'd once crushed on her boyfriend.
This was a conversation I'd hesitated to have for a long time, and had written off as unnecessary (at least without the help of a few cocktails). But here we were, in her car, me spilling my unrequited guts about my in-the-past attraction to her in-the-present sweetie.
Thing is, we all work together. I didn't get to know him for my first couple years of employment--it's a small office, but our paths didn't cross beyond the occasional "hi." Then we started working together on a couple of projects. He was very complimentary of my writing (Way to Doris' Heart #1). He's courteous, enjoys baking, adores movies and has a lovely basso profundo.
And he's straight. When I meet nice, sensitive dudes I get along with, I automatically assume they're gay. Not this dude.
I mean, a crush was inevitable. It was summer. There was some energy. We had stuff in common. I never did much about it and to this day I'm not sure if he figured it out.
Just as inevitable was the fallout. I realized it wouldn't work between us. I'd bulldoze him, he'd drive me crazy with his laid-back vibe. So I took the crush and put it to bed.
A couple months later, he's dating another coworker and friend, and I'm genuinely happy for the both of them. They have a similar energy, and he fits into her life perfectly. It's been really fun to watch.
I always thought it would be weird to tell her that once upon a time, way before they got together, I'd had a bit of a thing for her man. I figured if it ever came up, I'd need some alcohol in me.
But no. It happened very organically. She mentioned finding an email from this past summer where she remarked that, surprisingly, our coworker was turning her on.
I took a chance.
"Funny you said that this summer," I stammered, with a nervous laugh. "'Cause that's when I sort of had a crush on him."
I went on to explain what happened--it was a short-lived thing, went away weeks before they got together, and I couldn't be happier for the both of them. All true. But I still wasn't sure how she'd react.
She laughed.
"How could you NOT crush on him? He's awesome!" said my friend.
And I laughed too. "I know, right? Those brownies were amazing!" Then I took a deep breath. "I'm so glad you're cool with this. I wasn't sure if it would be weird to tell you."
"Nah," replied my awesome friend. "It just means you have good taste."
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