I Know It's Over, by Doris

So Rock and I are getting back in the saddle on the ol' OKC.

To bring you up to speed, the Russian was supposed to contact me this week about hanging out again. Well, it's Thursday and I haven't heard word one. I got a feeling on Monday that it wasn't going to happen, but Rock said to give him until Friday before I truly gave up.

Not going to be necessary.

Here's what went down: just a little while ago, I logged back onto OKCupid for the first time in over a month. (I know, I know, I said I was going to keep looking while involved with the Russian, but then vacation happened. Then sick happened. Then busy week at work, third date with Russian, and awkward second date with Straight Anthony Rapp happened. Before I knew it, January and half of February got away from me.)

I was checking through my messages when I saw it:

Sorry, [Russian's username] no longer has an account.

Huh.

When I got the feeling it was over, I didn't get a feeling as to why. I wasn't sure if he'd met someone else or what. And I don't know how OKCupid works--maybe if someone blocks you it says they no longer have an account. Anyone know?

But something makes me think his wife put the kibosh on the whole open marriage thing.

Don't get me wrong--this is not me blaming some woman I don't even know for ruining my relationship. Not at all. He's her husband, a fact I was aware of from the beginning. She has every right to stop something she's not entirely comfortable with. And to be honest, after the first and second date, I halfway expected never to hear from the Russian again. I figured with a married man, it could end at any time.

That said, I do wish he would have contacted me personally. After a first or second date, with anyone, if you're not feeling it I'd rather you just let me figure it out. Otherwise it's just too awkward.

But in this case, after three dates, a helluva hickey, and having him over to my apartment, a text saying he couldn't see me anymore would have been nice.

At any rate, I clicked around, shook my head at some, messaged others.

Time to move on.