What I Wish for Doris, by Rock

Doris had the bad luck of meeting a guy she could have married about 10 years before she should have. They learned a lot. They had a hard time letting go of each other. Doris needs to date, explore the field, and realize how fun it can be to go out on a date.

I hope Doris learns how to relax and assume the best is going to happen instead of preparing for the worst-case scenario. I hope she learns that there are lots of guys out there that could make her happy, and more importantly she could make happy. I hope she learns that relationships can be low-key AND long-term. Commitment doesn't always mean drama.

But I hope she dates around and gets laid a few times before she commits. She needs some “good not great” dates before the “great” dates start, if that makes sense. Hey mediocre boys! Here's your chance to get laid when you don't really deserve to!

Most of all, I hope that the guy she used to date stays with whomever he's dating for a long long time and doesn't booty-call Doris and get her off-track of wanting a little more for herself.

I lied. Most of all, I hope Doris is happy and gets the love she doesn't quite realize she deserves.

Oh I Don't Think Straight With Nothing to Prove, by Doris

So here's the part where (The) Rock and me set goals for each other.

*yoga breath*

Here goes:

Let me say first that I adore Rock.  He is my tall handsome gay.  And more than anything, from the second he told me he liked boys on the way to play rehearsal (because we are all about the cliches), I've just wanted him to be happy.

With that in mind:

I think Rock's standards are at once too low and too high.

He alluded to it in his last post, but let me tell you how I see it.

The way Rock approaches life is full speed ahead.  He wants something, by God he'll work his ass off to get it.  He was valedictorian.  He moved thousands of miles away to pursue a dream, then moved back not because he gave up, but because he wanted a different life. 

This dogged balls-to-the-wall approach (and a healthy dose of oldest-child-overachiever syndrome) is something we share, and a large part of why we've been friends so long.

I just wish he wouldn't apply it to relationships.

Rock wants to settle down.  In pursuit of this goal, he's done an awful lot of settling.  Not that it's always a bad thing: his relationships have made him who he is, and he's met some cool people.  But from what I've seen, he either settles for someone far less than he's happy with, or he settles for an unequal relationship with someone he loves with all his heart and thinks is "the one."  He's determined to make it work, dammit.

To Rock, I say this:

RELAX.

As he's admitted himself, the boy is A-OK with dating.  He's a great boyfriend.  He has no problem meeting people.  However, I want him to go with the flow at least once in the next six months.  To just have fun with a boy without trying to slap a label and/or permanence on it.  To maybe, just maybe, have a fling: something not intense and without an ultimatum or expiration date.  Not a one-night stand, but an ongoing deal where the goal is just to enjoy.

Because I have no doubt he WILL find the mythical One.

He just doesn't need to find him in the next thirty minutes.