Just to Lighten the Mood, by Doris

So guess who texted me yesterday?

Midnight Cowboy!

Dude must have some serious hornypants.

He asked if I was still interested in getting together. I said yes, but to be honest I wasn't super comfortable with having a first date at midnight. He said he understood, but mornings were no good because he's "quite nocturnal." His words.

Maybe it's because I'm exhausted and overworked, but I was SO tempted to reply: "You must be very proud."

In short, we couldn't agree on a time, so I told him to text me next week if he's still interested.

You know, I have friends in the service industry. And they all date during normal hours.

When I relayed all this to Rock, he replied that "quite nocturnal" could be a euphemism for "on meth."

I love Rock.

The Night We Never Met, by Doris

"I can't believe you were going out with him in the first place," Rock said last night.

Remember Midnight Cowboy? The dude I stupidly agreed to meet at the witching hour on a weeknight, who wasn't even that cute? The guy who from message one came off as more than a little douchey?

Well, last night I had to work late. Very late. I had a 12-hour day with virtually no break, much of which was spent running around and trying to keep various balls in the air. Earlier in the week, I'd figured I'd still be hyped up later, as I usually am after major events, and could handle a date.

While still at work, I get a text from MC. Could we meet at 11 instead?

Sure, I replied, thinking if worse came to worse I'd just go straight to the bar as I was dressed cute anyway.

I step away from my phone and step back half an hour later, only to find out he wants to switch back to midnight.

Ugh, seriously?

Look, I get it. Shit happens, life happens, work happens. I mean, I was at work myself when I got the message. And maybe because of that, because I'd been running and making amends and allowances because I am paid to do so, I didn't want to compromise and yes-woman myself another damn time, for results that would likely be less than satisfactory.

By "results," I don't mean bad sex, necessarily. I mean, it took a 12-hour workday of running around to realize...

I didn't really like Midnight Cowboy.

Not enough to meet him late, after he changed the meeting time, then changed it again. Not enough to submit myself to what would likely be a quick drink then fooling around. I could practically smell the subtext in all his communications.

Again, a one-night stand isn't a bad thing. But I need to dig you a little before we hop into bed. And the fact that you're kinda douchey before we even meet, plus I don't find you super attractive?

Clang, clang, clang went the "Doris, don't do this" trolley.

I texted back that I just wasn't down--I was working, I needed to be back at work early the next morning, and I was afraid I just wouldn't be very good company. We vaguely left it at "another time," which I think we both know will never happen.

My next text was for Rock, whom I knew was out somewhere in the city:

Where are you?

Because some nights, you DO have to make awkward small talk to get what you want, whether that's a one-nighter or a deep connection.

And some nights, you just want to have a drink with your friends.

I know I made the right choice.