Second Chance/First Impression: A Date, by Doris

Am I too picky?

Three dates into this little six-month experiment and I'm already asking this question. After all, my first impressions of others haven't always been favorable. I remember seeing Excalibur walking into play practice late and thinking he was a slacker. Rock first struck me as a dork who liked Survivor. The night I met my roommate Stan, who's become one of my closest friends, I'd just received some fairly devastating news, so I was very distracted and I can't even tell you what I thought.

Thankfully, I gave all of the above dudes a second chance and got some great relationships out of it.

And I'm wondering if I should extend the same courtesy to last night's date, Straight Anthony Rapp.

Like the Russian, I first connected with SAR about a month ago. I liked his profile on OKC and his pictures made him look like, well, a straighter version of Anthony Rapp, who I've always found really adorable. We started sending long emails and clicked right away on so many things: food, movies, growing up in roughly the same geographic area. We didn't meet before now for various reasons: not just the standard holiday busy-ness, but the fact that he is in grad school and had finals.

Finally, we found a night that worked for both of us and decided to go out for tea. (Fun fact: two of the three OKC guys I have dated are all into tea. Not sure what that says about them, me, or OKC. But whatever. I like tea too.)

Now, it's important to note that SAR gave me his phone number about a week ago. Though I texted him--and he texted back in complete sentences, earning him MANY points--I never actually called, for a couple reasons. One, this was a busy week for me and I didn't want to call too late, because with a new person you don't really know their schedule.

And two, I don't really like to talk on the phone. I call my parents once a week, as has been our tradition since I started college. When Rock moved away for three years, we talked practically every day. But in both these cases, I have established relationships and am using the phone to keep in touch. My friends in the city, people I don't know so well, I'm more of a Facebook/email/texting kinda gal.

So when I got a call from SAR, saying he'd arrived a few minutes early at our designated meeting point, is where my issues began.

You see, he has a weird voice.

I have a thing about accents. Like any red-blooded American girl, I really dig many accents and think they're sexy. However, certain accents turn me off. There's a reason: a certain authority figure in my life had a really heavy accent from a certain region. Anything that remotely sounds like this individual automatically stresses me out. It's like Pavlov's dog minus the drooling and plus high blood pressure and hives.

Does this make me racist? I hope not.

SAR's voice...I can't quite place it. He's lived abroad extensively, so I think it might be a muddle of different Euro dialects. He's also in grad school, and sorry to generalize, but sometimes grad students talk differently. They're so in their heads that their verbalization isn't like the average bear's. (And keep in mind, I have been a grad student, so I know of which I speak.)

Having been a performer, and having spent part of my childhood around radio people, I have a thing about voices. My last crush--who became a good pal--has a lovely basso profundo. When I was a temp and answering phones at a lush downtown corporate office, I was offered a job on the spot with another lush downtown corporate office, on the sole basis of my "Company X, how may I help you?" I'm not kidding.

So I'm not sure I can get past the voice.

And part of me wants to. SAR is adorable. He's traveled a lot but isn't pretentious about it (o hai, Russian). He's a city boy but "was raised to be a mountain man," meaning he can do carpentry and paint. He's in grad school, and I admire anyone who chooses to further their education.

And he can cook! I've always wanted to date someone who can cook.

One of the things I'm really liking about OKCupid, and online dating in general I guess, is that it practically guarantees good conversation, because you already know what your date is into. Even when I'm not feeling much chemistry, we can chat about movies, bands, books, et cetera. And I love to talk.

This date was no exception. The only thing that flowed better than our words was the green tea through my very small bladder.

Oh, and soon after we parted ways, I received a very nice text from SAR.

So do I give him another chance or not?

Here's the solution I've come to: if he asks me out again, I'm down. If not, I'm not pursuing it.

Am I doing the right thing here? Should I give him a second chance to make a first impression?

Or am I being too picky?