What I Want, You Got (Hopefully), by Doris

The other night, a commenter on one of my favorite websites, Jezebel, recommended that those looking for love do the following: write down exactly what they want in a partner, being as specific as possible, to put it out in the universe.

(Because Jez sometimes reads my mind, they posted this a couple days ago. The comments are a lot of fun.)

As this is the New Year and I'm looking to change my dating habits (hell, ESTABLISH some dating habits), I thought I'd take this advice.

So without further ado, UNIVERSE, here is what Doris is looking for in a dude:

1. Relatively my age, or an over/under of about five years.
2. Someone I want to have sex with, like all the time. Even if I don't act on it, I want to want to.
3. Someone who wants to have sex with me, like all the time. Even if he doesn't act on it, he wants to.
4. Passionate about something. Music, acting, writing, tattoo artistry, I don't care. It doesn't have to be his livelihood, but it has to be an aspect of his life that makes him clutch his heart he loves it so. As long as said passion is not illegal, racist, perverse or Republican, I'm down. Notice I didn't exclude sports. I personally don't get team fanaticism, but I thought Fever Pitch was a really cute movie.
5. Wants to be healthy and live a long, balanced life. (My dad's side of the family is largely very UNhealthy, so this is a priority for me.)
6. With that in mind, enjoys good food, good alcohol, and a good night of camping in front of the TV. This is where balance comes in.
7. Knows how to cook, and cooks.
8. Ambitious, but with good intentions.
9. Has an interesting job that contributes something positive to the world.
10. Reads. Classics, sci fi, graphic novels, magazines, I don't care. Bonus if he has reading material in the bathroom.
11. Likes to talk, but also likes to listen. Is gifted at both.
12. Has a cool group of friends I get along with. Bonus points if some of the friends are gay.
13. Speaking of, MUST MUST MUST be accepting of others, no matter what color, creed or sexual orientation. Rock is my very best friend. Rock is not going anywhere.
14. Gets along with my friends. Doesn't have to be super buddy buddy with them, but acknowledges and respects their very prominent place in my life.
15. Is content to meet and get to know people. Isn't rushing to acquire the marriage/children/dog/white picket fence combo. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me.
16. Most importantly, realizes I have a life of my own, one that I love and cherish, one that I had way before I met him. Knows he has an important place in this life, but he alone does not make up this life. In other words, respects my identity as an independent woman.

Basically, UNIVERSE, I want Cal Morrisey from Jennifer Crusie's pitch-perfectly fabulous romantic comedy novel Bet Me. Have you read that, UNIVERSE? You should right now. Cal is phenomenal. He fights dyslexia every day as a successful business owner. He has a fantastic group of friends, gay and straight. He dotes on his eight-year-old nephew, but doesn't want kids of his own. He's witty but not pompous. He can cook. He's handsome. He has his faults but by the end of the novel is self-aware and humble. He likes a lady with curves. He likes sex and eating food with said lady.

In short, Cal ROCKS.

UNIVERSE, I want a dude just like him. Ya listening?

Do you have a checklist? Any dealbreakers? Leave a comment!