One and Done: A Date, by Doris

(Image via Natalie Dee.)

On Thursday, December 30, I began a new life as a dater. (A woman who dates? A person who dates? Whatever.)

If you've been following the saga of Rivers-a-like, you know that I was primarily regarding my first OKCupid real-life in-person date as a warm-up. After all, the guy lives in the suburbs and I don't have a car. On a deeper level, I thought he was nice. That's it. Not super-duper, oh my God you're turning my crank and I can't wait to meet you hot, just nice.

Basically, I wasn't expecting a lot.

And that turned out to be a good thing.

He didn't do anything seriously wrong. He was a few minutes late, but I was slightly less late so that wasn't a big deal. The conversation--mainly revolving around our favorite bands and our mutual love of Chicago--flowed easily with maybe one awkward pause, not bad for two people who had never previously met face-to-face. He insisted on paying (I'm actually more comfortable going Dutch, but if the guy wants to I'm fine with it).

However.

There were two major reasons that when he wanted to hang out longer, I pretended to receive a text from Rock who was having a major emotional crisis (LIE):

1. I wasn't attracted to him. At all. This isn't to say he wasn't an attractive person. He had all the right ingredients: brown hair, glasses, nice face. It just didn't appeal to me.

2. Here's the big thing. I know I said in a previous post that he moved home for financial reasons and I didn't want to hold it against him. People's choices are their own.

That said, I think my issue with the suburbs thing goes deeper. See, when I moved back to the city after several years away, I had a job. Exactly two months later, I lost this job. I knew deep in my heart that the city was home to me, and I didn't want to leave again.

So I found a way to make it work. I temped. I worked retail for a while. I participated in paid market research studies I found on Craigslist. I worked out a cheaper payment plan on my student loans. I did a lot of free things and I wasn't stupid with money. Eventually, I found a full-time job.

I wanted to live here, so I found a way.

The fact that Rivers-a-like has moved back to the suburbs from the city not one but two times, makes me think this time he's not coming back.

From what I can see, he'll get a promotion at his job (also in the burbs), meet a nice girl, buy a house and settle down, with the occasional urban jaunt that becomes even more occasional as the years go by.

That's fine. His choices. His life.

It just doesn't jibe with mine.

One more thing, dudes: if a girl says she wants to meet for coffee or drinks, she means coffee or drinks. She does not mean dinner. "Coffee," "drinks" and "dinner" are words very distinguishable from one another. Read your gotdamn messages, please.

Last thing, I promise:

If you want to order an appetizer for yourself, that's cool. If you tell the waiter we are going to share it, please ask me what looks good before ordering. Not only is that a conversation starter, it also takes into account that I may have food allergies and I definitely DO have likes and dislikes. And if you don't ask, don't be surprised when I politely refuse to eat it.

On to date two, with a gentleman to be determined. I'll keep ya posted!