Open Arms and Prison Cells, by Doris

The past few days have been a bit rough, for various reasons. One of the bright spots? None other than Jim Berger.

I really thought we were done emailing, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a cute message from him in my in-box Saturday morning.

And very soon, I am going to take the initiative and step it up.

I had this big come to Jesus moment on Friday night. What the hell have I got to lose? Absolutely nothing.

Especially since his ex just put in her two weeks' notice.

If you've been keeping up with The Story of Jim Berger and His Ex Aka Doris' Friend, you know this was a BIG factor in my moving so slowly. Granted, he could also be hesitant about hooking up with yet another coworker. He could not be into me that way at all.

Or he could be your classic clueless straight guy.

Back in grad school, a friend (a straight guy himself) told me that straight guys can be inherently stupid when it comes to knowing a girl is interested. I remember my friend saying, "The only way I know for sure a girl is interested is if she tells me, and even then I'm like, 'What? You like ME? Really?'"

So I'm slowly starting to step it up a bit.

Yesterday, I invited him to a show Rock and I were attending that night. Now, I wasn't going to be surprised if he said no, because: a) this was really really short notice, b) the show was very late at night, and c) it was a drag show, which isn't exactly a big comfort zone for many straight guys. The invitation was just a casual, natural segue in our email conversation, so I figured why not?

I was pleasantly surprised to not only get a "maybe" (because he was going to be at a dinner party where a lot of alcohol would be served, and he wasn't sure if he'd be up to it by then), but a revelation that Jim Berger himself used to regularly dress in drag with his band.

Which is just badass, and is further proof I want him in my life, even if it's only platonic.

The thing is, I like being the one who's asked. That said, I've dealt with shy/clueless guys before, and I'm not great at waiting. I really don't want to pass up the opportunity for what could be a fun relationship or a great friendship. And I'm talking about sending a text and/or seeing if he wants to see a movie this week. Not sitting outside his apartment singing love songs.

He gave me his number, which in my experience guys don't do if they don't want you contacting them. Could be he is deliberately leaving the ball in my court to see what I will do.

So I'm going to text.

Worst case scenario: he politely rebuffs me, I'm embarrassed for a couple of days, then we move on and everything's back to normal.

Wish me luck.

Stop Doing Everything Right, by Doris

During a 20-minute interaction this morning, Jim Berger:

1. Listened to me blather to a coworker about what I liked and didn't like about a film, plus interesting trivia, and didn't seem to think I was a blowhard (plus revealed he once interviewed the film's director).

2. When I mentioned I took dance, said he was a fan of my dance teacher, before knowing she was my teacher.

3. Asked me how I liked the British costume drama I saw the other night, and admitted to being the only guy in the theatre when he saw it.

Also, after a fairly shitty argument with a friend last night, I checked my email to find a message from him.

I am giggling and singing to myself. Not good.

He gets until the middle of next week to take the initiative, then I'm asking him to hang out.

I can't pass up this opportunity, even if it just turns out to be friendship. It's really tough to initiate a platonic deal with a straight guy when he's just started a new relationship. New girlfriends tend not to like new girl friends.

Keeping You Up to Speed, by Rock

So later that day, Noah Wyle called me. He said that he should have brought this up before we slept together, but he has a rule that if he is sexually active with someone, they are sexually exclusive. He stressed that it was for health reasons, it wasn't a jealous thing, I could go on as many other dates as I wanted, it was too early to be exclusive, but his rule was sex was just with him.

I took a second to digest and said that I supposed that was fair, though yes it was too early to be exclusive and yes we should have talked about it before we had sex. I wasn't willing to say that sex wouldn't happen, even though I wasn't necessarily looking for it to happen. But if it did happen, then I would tell him about it and he could make a decision. He said that was valid and fair.

The whole thing strikes me as incredibly sophomoric. Before we had sex he did ask if he had anything to worry about but he didn't ask if I had had sex within the last week (I had). If sex is such a big deal, then he shouldn't have given it up on the second date. But if that makes him feel safer, that's his prerogative and I can either play along or not. For now, he's intriguing enough that I'll play along.

He and his friends were out the next night celebrating the end of the med school semester. My friend and I met them out for a few drinks and to dance. They were all wasted, but he was a cute wasted. He kept telling my friend how much he liked me and how cute I was.

The next day I hosted a tv night and invited him and his friend. They were super late because they ended up waiting 50 minutes for a bus. They weren't feeling it after such a ridiculous commute. My other friends (including Doris!) were about to go home, but it was fine and low-key, if not the fun, hilarious party night I had kind of expected.

Last night I went out with some coworkers and ended up making out with an ex-coworker. We were about to head home together before I realized that maybe I would go on a date with this guy, but I didn't really want to go home with him. I just wanted to sleep. So I said good bye and left mysteriously. The make-out made me feel better about Noah Wyle's silly little rule though. Because it is ridiculously early to start talking exclusivity in any matter.

Real date with Noah Wyle on Monday. Stay tuned.