It's All Good, by Doris

Image via Zeitgeist World

Recently, a reader complained to me about our blog's tagline: "a girl, her gay, and six months of online dating."

The complaint addressed the fact that no human being owns anyone else, so I most definitely do not own Rock, and therefore he is not "my gay."

Valid logic.

I will say that I've always hated the whole "gay boyfriend" trend, because I feel it's genuine friendships relegated to some kind of fashion accessory for a neurotic woman who can't get any. For this reason, I was never a fan of Will and Grace. Also, that new show Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys just looks insulting to me. Especially when the chick whines in the preview, "you're marrying another guy? It should be meeeeee!"

No.

Were I ever to get married, qualification #1 for my husband is WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

For the record, Rock is my best friend. He's been my best friend since two years before he came out of the closet. He's my best friend because we share many passions and values, we have a similar worldview, and most importantly, we have a hell of a lot of fun together.

This is why all my friends are, in fact, my friends. Gay, straight, bi, whatever. I don't regard anyone as my accessory, and while I may be neurotic, that's neither here nor there.

(Plus, I can and do get some.)

Most of all, lovely readers--and we appreciate all of you, we just wish you'd comment more!--I want to assure you that our apparently controversial tagline?

Was the brainchild of none other than the "gay" in question.

Yup, it was Rock's idea.

Gimme a Break, by Doris

Cher Rock,

I'm ecstatic that you and 2.0 are currently floating on a first-base cloud. Truly. I wish you all the smoochies and Strangers With Candy marathons in the world.

However, regarding your challenge to me in your last post:

• Our readers may not be aware of the fact that your job allows for far more flexibility than mine.


• For me, the next two days consist of this: work, appointment, work, office Christmas party, hopefully yoga so I don't get fat from all the food I will inevitably ingest and therefore become unattractive to the dudes on OKCupid.
  
• As this is the holiday season, everyone's partying and traveling (plus one of the boys I've been messaging with has finals this week). Including me. The only times I have free are as follows: Friday evening, Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon after the home pick-up of the charity I'm donating my old clothes to.

I know you are making a face right now and yelling, "Excuses, excuses, Doris, get on it dammit!"

So I'll make you a deal. I'll ask out one or more of the cuties I'm messaging with. If my limited time frame matches up with theirs, we will grab a coffee on Friday at the earliest.

Otherwise, my friend, I hope you don't have plans with 2.0 on Friday, 'cause we're heading to a straight bar!

Eye-rollingly yours,

Doris