Drunk Texts Part Deux, by Doris

Went out with Rock and the boys on Sunday night. Weather was gorgeous and because of the holiday everyone was out. It was one of those nights where the conversation en route to bar #1 went like this:

Me: I think I'll just have one drink. Maybe two. I'm kinda tired.
Rock: Yeah, I have stuff to do tomorrow. I'll probably go home around 11:30 or midnight.
Me: If this were a TV show, it would cut to us dancing on tables at 2:30 a.m.

Yup. Out till 3.

At bar #2, a couple drinks and two shots in, I wasn't scrape-me-off-the-floor wasted (that came later), but drunk enough to type this out on my phone:

"Drunk text. Hi."

Guess who was the recipient? I'll give you a hint.

JB was at a winding-down barbecue and was also tanked. We proceeded to text for two hours, through getting a ride home from friends/procuring and eating a sub/watching Meet the Press (him) and imbibing more drinks and shots/dancing to Lady Gaga/stumbling to another bar (me).

All with proper spelling, capitalization and punctuation. Proving to me that at least one other person in this world gets more pretentious when they're wasted.

Here's the kicker:

At one point, JB suggested we grab a drink sometime.

I didn't hear from him yesterday and he's not at work today (as I knew he wouldn't be, because he told me on Friday).

I don't know if I should follow up on the drink invitation.

On the one hand, in vino veritas and all that. On the other hand, to paraphrase The Hangover, we all say dumb shit when we're fucked up. Or at least shit we don't mean.

And it's not like he said this out loud. It's in a text. Meaning he can go back and read our conversation, and pursue that opportunity if he wants to. (I didn't say yes or no at the time. Just proceeded with the texting.)

I think it'll be interesting to see how he acts around me tomorrow, and if he even acknowledges Sunday night. I'm not going to be too hard on him if he doesn't. Drunk happens.

A Drunken Review, by Rock

Here's a little experiment. Here's my retelling of my date tonight that I wrote while still drunk instead of the next morning after I've had time to reflect.

So this guy actually contacted me on OKCupid which is a rarity. Usually the people that I end up seeing are people I've first contacted. The ones that contact me are fat and/or ugly and/or old. Sorry to past commenters on this blog: fat and ugly and old don't do it for me.

This guy was in med school, had kind of a goofy smile, and was fun to talk to. He may have even been the first to suggest we hang out, which is really nice.

Since he is in med school, we will call him Scrubs.

He called me to make plans and got my voice mail. I called him back and got his voice mail as well. Instead of a clear concise voice mail, I rambled on for a minute and change about the siren in the background, how distracted I was, and an apology for the length and obnoxiousness of the voice mail. His return voice mail commented on my "stellar voice mail" and how it was okay I must be new to them.

He was already poking fun at me. Color me intrigued.

Where does that turn of phrase come from? Color me __________. It's kind of odd.

Anyways, it turns out he lives very close to where I work, so we agreed to meet for a drink when I got off tonight.

Aside from his goofy smile, he's your very typical upper-middle class suburban kid. Like the majority of guys I date he came out late in life. I don't know why this is a recurring pattern, but this kid has never had a real relationship which is a real red flag. He don't go out to gay bars a whole lot, most of his friends are straight. Been there, done that before (hello boy that broke my heart, not sure what EE number you are cause I'm drunk). He's pretty generic looking, which I seem to really like (fuck Angel and Spike, I was always all about Riley).

But he was charming and fun and I was smitten.

I wasn't sure if he was. We talked a lot about how attractive Darren Criss is. My efforts to entangle our legs didn't work out great. I think he's a little clueless about how things go.

Which could be great. 2.0 had such a stupid schedule of how things happen and what could happen and blah blah blah. I dunno, it could also be awful.

We couldn't stay out too late: he still had to finish up some homework. We walked as far as we could go together and then both went in for a nice first kiss. He said he was sure he would talk to me soon, I said I was sure he was right.

We texted a good night.

This could be fun.

However, I also have a first date with a dental student later this week. Also from OKCupid, I spoke to him on the phone for the first time this evening and there seems to be something there as well.

It's really nice though to finally be excited about some potential again. I was so disillusioned with the concept of love after 2.0 that it's really nice to think that it could possibly happen. Even if not with one of these guys, that it may be in my future. I was doubting it for a while.

Let's see how I handle this.

I'm Alive!, by Doris

Thanks to Rock for holding down the fort in my absence. As he stated in his last post, I was on a super-awesome vacation with my fam. I'm at the point in my life where for the most part I get along really well with my parents because, well, we're all adults and they're not trying to tell me what to do anymore. My sibs and I have always been really close. So a good time was had by all.

Mostly.

The bad news is, I was sick for the entire vacation. What I thought was a head cold only got progressively worse as the trip went on, resulted in a doctor's appointment the day after I got back, and still hasn't gone away (though now I have antibiotics and a get out of work free pass, thanks Doc!).

The good news is as follows:
1) Though I didn't stay out as late as my night-owl self would have normally, and I only got drunk once, on the last night of the trip, I managed to pull it together and have a ton of fun. (This also eliminated any chances of making out, because I'm not that mean.)

2) Said drunk last night of the trip was partly due to TWO MEN BUYING ME A DRINK! As in, the cocktail waitress came over and said, "the gentlemen on the right want to know if you'd like anything else." I stared at her openmouthed for about ten seconds before blurting my cocktail of choice. Not to sound naive, but I'm 30 years old and this is the first time anyone's ever wanted to send me a drink. WOOHOO!

I talked to the dudes and they were two very nice non-sleazy guys from Ohio. Coincidentally, my last crush who's now a good friend also hails from the Buckeye State. You go Ohio!

3) Through my coughing and snotty haze, I texted the Russian, who wants to see me again. We're in the midst of scheduling as he most likely has to check with his wife.

4) Straight Anthony Rapp of the annoying voice wants to go out again too! Eh, what the hell? If I'm still turned off after this one, I'm done, but a second date never hurt anyone.

5) While prostrate on the couch last night, I popped in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, which I received for Christmas. Though it gets a little long toward the end, I was reminded of how much I like the overall concept. You see, even I have more than one evil ex if we're going by Ramona Flowers standards. (Mine are all boys, FYI.)

And it's funny Rock was just talking about evil exes.

Why is that funny?

Stay tuned . . .