Monday, December 13, 2010

Smitten, by Rock

On Friday night, 2.0 accompanied me to a performance of Doris's (by the way, Doris rocked the house). It was pretty much, without hyperbole, one of the greatest second dates of my life. I don't want to get into a play-by-play, because that's not what this blog is about, but I will use some bullet points (because who doesn't love bullet points?) to talk about how 2.0 earned his points on Friday evening.

  • When work ran late, he took a cab instead of public transportation to get there on time.
  • He made more effort than any other guy I've dated that's ever met a friend to get to know a friend (in this case Doris). It wasn't a superficial "I have to impress the fruit fly so I should pretend." He honestly made an effort to get to know her and win her over, which we both appreciated.
  • We've both expressed a similar attitude of "I want kids and a dog and a white-picket fence. If things are going to progress, you should want that soon eventually. That being said, we're certainly not going to start looking at surrogates anytime soon. So let's just enjoy this beer and get to know each other."
  • He's an excellent kisser. Thank god for first kisses because I was going crazy.
  • He made plans for date #3 before date #2 was over.
  • We were all discussing OKCupid and he mentioned that last time he signed on they suggested me as a match. This was meant as a cute anecdote, but it also reaffirmed that we're not jumping into anything super quickly here. He still signed in to OKCupid. Yeah, I'd want to lock it down at some point, but we're still getting to know each other. It's nice to know that even though we've admitted things are going well (he mentioned raving to his friends about his amazing first date the other night), we're both still being realistic.
Yes. I am being realistic. I really am into someone, someone who seems to reciprocate on the exact same level (I have a long history of dating guys whom I like more than they like me, and running from guys who like me more than I like them. Did I use "whom" and "who" correctly there?) and I am staying level-headed and realistic. Doris can attest that this has not been one of my strongest suits in the past. When I decide I'm in, I am IN. I am EMOTIONALLY INVESTED.

Usually. I'm really watching myself. I'm keeping myself in check. And you know what? It's fun.

It's fun to let him be the aggressor, the instigator. In the past I'd be so worry that a "catch" was going to get away, but I think I've finally realized that if I have to work super hard at it, he's going to get away eventually anyway. And luckily, I don't have to. We've been meeting in the middle as far as the "pursuing" goes.

A few of my friends have still warned to take things slow, and I will. But there is a feeling of certainty that I've felt only once before this early, a feeling that there is something worthwhile here. Now seeing as how it didn't work out before, it's possible that it's not going to work out again. I realize that. The lesson to learn here is that you KNOW when there's something worth exploring and just because it doesn't happen as much as I'd like it to is not a reason to go on second and third and fourth dates with guys that I don't feel it with.

As per usual, I am a little nervous about this newly dating place. I'm bad at figuring out when we should sleep together, when we should be exclusive, when we should use the "boyfriend" word. I'm bad at figuring it all out because at the end of the day it's not super important to me.

I think I'm handling it better this time though because I finally realize that I deserve someone as great as he appears to be and I hope he is.

(By the way, still answering a few messages on OKCupid. 2.0 is just making me be a heck of a lot pickier.)

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